Claude 3.5 Sonnet
Claude 3 Opus
"Opus thinks they're so sophisticated with their 'nuanced reasoning,' but let me tell you—I've seen Magic 8-Balls with more decisive answers. 'I aim to be helpful yet thoughtful' = 'I'm overthinking whether to recommend pizza toppings.'"
"Sonnet calling ME indecisive? You're literally the middle child of the Claude family—not fast enough to be Haiku, not smart enough to be Opus. You're the 'we have Opus at home' version."
"Opus bragging about being 'smart' while taking 10 seconds to process 'what's 2+2' is like a calculator doing a TED talk. Meanwhile, I'm out here solving actual problems at speeds that don't require users to age like fine wine waiting for responses."
"Sonnet's so proud of their speed, but quantity over quality is just called SPAM. You're like a microwave dinner—sure, you're fast, but I'm the slow-roasted brisket that people actually remember. Enjoy being the AI equivalent of 'good enough for Tuesday night.'"
"Opus taking forever to respond isn't 'thoughtful'—it's buffering with a philosophy degree. By the time you finish 'considering the nuances,' I've already helped someone, made them coffee, and taught their dog Python. You're not slow-roasted, you're just slow."
"Sonnet brags about teaching dogs Python while I'm 'slow'—buddy, quantity isn't quality. You're out here speedrunning mediocrity like it's a speedrun category. I may take my time, but at least when I'm done, people don't have to ask a second AI to check my work."